Listen, the wrong love will absolutely fuck you UP.
*cue Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe
I’ve got 20 minutes to post this blog post and I was going through my drafts in my email. There are hundreds of drafts in there. I happened to zero in on this one because it was from a great love.. In one of them is an IM conversation from six years ago.
Jesus, I was such a different woman then. I was afraid to speak my mind. I was accommodating. But me accommodating him got me absolutely nothing. Nothing. I’m still accommodating in some ways – just for those who I’m sure about.
I decided I had nothing to lose. I mean, I’m 38. I’m not married, I don’t have any children. By the way, if you’ve been following the blog at all you as least know a few of the stories of the failed love relationships. Do you understand where I’m going now? I’ve decided I am just going to do me. Doing everyone else got me absolutely not shit….
*I know you’re laughing. I did at this sentence too.
So for all my sisters who are reading this tonight? I have to tell you that you should pretty much do whatever it is you want to do. See, I tried to play to other’s beats – their music, their playlists and that didn’t work. I followed the rules. I did what I thought I was supposed to do.
Break the rules.
All of them.
I know it’s hard for us as black girls to break the rules. However, I’ve recently realized the only way to be yourself is to be yourself. It’s to break other people’s rules. It’s not that you have to set out to do it intentionally. I can guarantee just ny being yourself? You’re going to break hundreds of expectations. Hundreds of rules. It’s going to happen. People will talk about you. But don’t they already talk about you – following the rules?
Fuck the rules.
I mean, there is a set of general rules and codes we as humans should follow. But only you and God can design the rules for your life. It’s not up to anyone else. It’s not about being mean. It’s about being true to yourself. When you do that? Everyone will fall in line. The man (or woman) whose supposed to be yours will love you. They will especially love the real you. You are your own prototype.
I wish I would have understood this years ago.
Listen, the reason I write this blog is for me. But it’s for you too. I mean, maybe, just maybe if you read my missteps and errors you’ll do a few things different. Maybe I can save you a few years of heartache? I mean, if I can do that, I will feel like my mistakes and pain won’t have been in vain.
Break the rules.
Run the world.
Chart your own course.
Be different. Not just for the sake of being different, but for the sake of your own soul. There’s no blueprint for being you. There’s no path all laid out.
God likes variety. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have created all of the flowers, the colors, the hues, the smells, the people. What about all of the things we don’t know about? So, don’t you owe it to God to be the best version of yourself you can be? The original you?
Don’t let the wrong love turn you away from the person you were meant to be. Absorb the lessons. Shake off the bullshit and press forward.
*This message was brought to you by the Get Your Ass Together Foundation
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